god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
