This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
