Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Randomize
