she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
did you just send me my own nude
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
