so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
These tits shall not be calmed
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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