before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
