Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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