Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I smell stomach acid.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
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We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
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You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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