After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
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Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
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True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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