Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
