you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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