i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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