i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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