New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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