I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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