After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
