Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
