I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
