ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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