so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
