Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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