I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
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