He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
