Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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