can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
