So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
