White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."