Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.