We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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