best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating