i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
