In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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