And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
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its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
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Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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