Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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