when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i dont even know how to be here
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
