sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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