no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
