Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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