so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
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I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
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Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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