please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
