This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
