I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
