wat bout pragnant strippers??
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
