I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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