I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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