Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Randomize
