Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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