its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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