so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
