im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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