i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
