alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Two words: blizzard sex
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
All the doctor said was why
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
