Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
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Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize