remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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