I need help removing her.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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