Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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