she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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