I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize