I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
