she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
