just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
