Got a toothbrush?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
