I'm going to rape someone's good day.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
