C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
