Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
