About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
