Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
