I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
