Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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