i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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