Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
