I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
and eventually we just all took our pants off
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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